News of the Chancellor’s resignation arrived on my phone as I sat at a conference session in Athens, Georgia. Sitting with a CSU colleague we high-fived each other, the audible slap causing a brief silence in the room. From across the country I could hear the audible cheer of faculty throughout California. At last our system-wide nightmare is over.

Meanwhile the scene at the Chancellor’s Office was much different, I imagine.

“‘Dear Leader’ resigned? Who will lead us now?” cried one of the 270 MPP employees at the CSU headquarters. Sobbing, another employee looking skyward screaming “How could the heavens be so cruel? Please come back, ‘Dear Leader.’ We cannot believe you are leaving!”

Word from the Chancellor’s Long Beach headquarters is that employees who appeared to insufficiently mourn the passing of ‘Dear Leader’ would be forced to take unnecessary on-line certification courses and engage in leadership trainings to impress the importance of Dear Leader and the philosophy of leadership that he developed in his 27 years as an “education leader.”

Dear Leader’s driver was seen with head in hands sobbing; and expensive eating establishments near the Chancellor’s Office were seen closing up in anticipation of lost revenues.

Meanwhile the Chancellor’s minions lined up to deliver their testimonials to Dear Leader. Their verbal flailings were quickly posted on-line by the Ministry of Information, which sought to highlight Dear Leader’s many accomplishments in office.

And the country is left to ask this question: Is there a PE major in our history who has accomplished more to advance the cause of higher education?